"Somebody’s Angel…"~ Mandisa

Palm Tree(s). Christmas Lights. Pretty. Sparkles. 

Recent thoughts and ramblings…
(from the past couple of weeks)

“Somebody’s Angel” ~Mandisa. Tears. Every time.

I have a tendency to smile through every tear drop that falls. Even though my heart is breaking on the inside, I have this habit of not showing what emotions I’m actually feeling. I always make up some excuse why the tears are falling and I will never let the true reason be known. There’s a million reasons why all of sudden I have tears streaming down my face. And most of the time it’s when I’m having a good day and then I hear one song or think of a memory and bam…tears! Maybe it’s the change in weather…or the Christmas season that evokes the sudden emotion.

Some Christmastime favorites!!!
I love Lady Antebellum…wonderful music.
Cannot get enough of this either!

grandma emailed some of last year’s photos…

And then I read this article and realized I have so much to say. Some days I have more to say and contemplate than others. Today is one of those days. Mostly after having conversations with a friend and my cousin. http://deeperstory.com/dating-at-christmas/
Seriously though. I am not lonely, just alone. Being alone does not in any way equate to being lonely. Even people who have a significant other must feel lonely at times, yes? Certain times, Christmastime included, it’s like flashing lights to the fact that I am alone. The author stated this thought most accurately in the following statement: “I’m used to navigating life by myself. Most days I scarcely notice I’m alone because this is simply life and a glorious one at that. But there are moments when my aloneness screams at me: church, Christmas, weddings, funerals, family gatherings.” And it’s true. I am used to navigating life by myself…having someone else to navigate life with I must admit, would take some getting used at this point in my life as I have done so much on my own, but by no means am I ruling out being alone forever … “Not because singleness is awful- I’ll fight anyone who says that- but because I want to share my life with someone. I want to hold my husband’s hand as we sit around the tree at my parent’s house. I want to experience the magic of the season in a whole new way.” And not just Christmas, but traveling, having coffee, watching the sunset, waking up in the morning, working out, watching random t.v. shows, laughing, and daily conversations…I want to experience those and so many many more things in a whole new way.

beautiful sunrise….

Do you ever do something mentally challenging like hanging out with someone who is somewhat weird or that everyone claims is weird under their breaths and warns others around them too? At first it was hard to agree…but, during those crucial 30 seconds when the moment of opportunity presents itself, before the moment passes and no matter what you do to cover up your reaction or response, nothing will resolve the hurt or disappointment…I agreed to go. And you know what? It wasn’t so bad…in fact, it was actually really fun. I mean we went to Costco…food shopping. Hello. Red wine. Natural Peanut Butter. Oranges. Chocolate Chip Muffins. And we chatted the whole time. It was great. Reflecting back, I wish these decisions would come as second nature? Why do I have to even mull over the idea of hanging out with someone whom I normally wouldn’t? It’s hard to push pass social obligations, what other people think…but this I have learned before…everyone deserves kindness, niceness, and respect. Why not take it a step further and spend time with them? It doesn’t have to be a whole day. For me, it was just a couple hours shopping at Costco…and both our days were made. I mean let’s face it…I am…We all are…a little weird.

red wine.

What a relaxing Sunday of catching up with a dear friend, pilates, and a Starbucks Christmas latte outside on the patio (How to write my Starbucks location in Chinese:星巴克竹北光明店), writing postcards and reading…not so much of idea thinking today, but it was a lovely afternoon, a bit rainy, but warm. Just after 5:00, I met a new friend. She is from Germany and so nice. She is here for a week visiting her father as he lives and works here in Taiwan. It was so nice to have someone to talk to for a bit and we are meeting for coffee later this week. Maybe I should hang out here more often and meet all the travelers coming through town… 🙂

my new friend who loves Starbucks just as much as me!

I met Miriam for coffee today and Thursday. It was such a lovely chat! It got colder today…the sky is gray and the wind is bitter. We are going to have coffee again on Thursday before she goes back home. How nice! I met a lady in the elevator from New Jersey. She leaves today to go home for Christmas. I’ve never had such a happy elevator conversation! It was the second time today that I was wished “Merry Christmas!” The first was at the post office by my friend, Ginger.

My Friday the 13th went like this…Wandered into a cafe I hadn’t been into since my first week. It was tastefully decorated for Christmas. Exquisite ornaments hung from the lights and garland was twisted around the patio railings, intertwined with colored bulbs. Blue Mountain coffee on this brisk morning wrapped with a Christmasy coffee holder.

Blue Mountain Coffee

Ugh. I knew I couldn’t escape winter germs again. Last week I had a terrible cold- achiness, sore throat, headache, cough…you know the annoying stuff when you’re a teacher and in charge of 7 year olds. Lost my voice this week, but feel better. Isn’t that always the case? Luckily the kids seem to be better behaved when I’m sick…figures, right? So I’m having my conversation hour with the sociology professor/mother and she asks if I’m ok and I say I’ve been rather sick lately, but know I just need sleep this weekend. This is what she does…after class she goes to the stores and she says to meet me in the lobby of my apartment building (she lives in the same complex) and bring me organic chicken/bones and organic vegetables and a recipe for a “get-well” soup. Heart melt and tears and hugs. 🙂

So I made the soup. You know… boiled the water. Dumped the frozen bones in. Let it simmer. Put the vegetables in..yadda yadda. Then I went to dish it out into a bowl and the first “bone” I pulled out was a whole chicken claw…The soup was delicious.

my fabulous kitchen…sometimes I run out of
gas while I’m cooking and I have to go to the
family mart and buy some…

my “feel-better/get well” soup

see…I wasn’t kidding about the claw…

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