you decide. i couldn’t pick a title.

clear blue skies
August 2: read the morning paper and drank my coffee; word scramble completed record time! and today’s horoscope said to relax, oh and it’s National Ice Cream Sandwich Day…and my brother is making me a bagel- toasted with raspberry jelly and peanut butter…

my documents were resent to AZ; so my roommates are overnighting them to NE so I can finish getting the correct seals. this would happen, right? All I can do is be patient, there was nothing I could do yesterday driving the 10 hour drive home, but keep my mind preoccupied.

i love this crazy tragic sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life
at 11:00 p.m. I received an email from ATOP- the private school company; they have found a more suitable position regarding the start date…same type of teaching etc…and in a beautiful area of the city according to my supervisor as she lives in that part. So instead of my August 21 start date, I start on Sept 14th pending my documents can be taken care of in time! The pay is more and the hours vary per the summer/winter times…I am figuring out details regarding another interview and contract…

August 6th
Today is the first day my cousin’s last name is Manzer. She was a gorgeous bride yesterday. And despite the rain before the ceremony it turned out to be beautiful. The reception was a ton of fun and I taught my brother how to dance, he can already rap without my help. 
Being around another family made me realize how fortunate I am to have a n amazing family. Though functioning is relative…for each group makes the family work- maybe it’s not the way I was brought up or am used to or even agree with, but to respect and love the other is most important. My cousin deserves all the love and laughter in the world and I know Matt brings this to her. I think the nerves of acquiring new family members and new titles are normal wedding jitters…and she will be just fine.  

Maybe tomorrow we’ll start over; maybe tomorrow I’ll finally change my ways
August 8th I think all I did today was lay on the living room couch and then moved the the outside porch couch to listen to the rain…and went through boxes of childhood keepsakes and memories. Though it didn’t take long at all, the process of sifting through old pictures and throwing away unneeded papers was quite painful…old journal entries and photos were the hardest…I don’t look or act the same and having the memories triggered and having to recall emotions and guilt to erase them hurt; but a friend reminded me that I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the changes and Thank God they are only memories (now dumped in the trash and tucked away in my brain!).

I don’t wanna look back and wonder; If good enough could’ve been better
August 9th: This endeavor is becoming a day by day update. Apparently the director at the Busan school doesn’t need another teacher; I now have another interview tonight for a position in Daejeon (a metropolitan city near the center of Korea)…I keep telling myself it’s better to iron out all the issues before I go rather than to deal with them once I’m overseas…
Today is date day with my little sister Abby. we’re going to Kearney to hang out, meet her boyfriend, and see a movie…I’m so excited! She is going to Tennessee this fall and is leaving early next week.

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